Post No. 16 : Finding myself once again?

Jeez, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted a new blog….sorry! I really failed myself and trying to type something at least once a week. With school and having more of a life, I should be able to type more than I do now (which is rarely…haha).

Since I’ve been back from Hong Kong, nothing much has really changed other than for the past month and a half I’ve been seeing my friends often. We got into interesting conversations and I really wished I wrote something down and wrote that day about each topic but I never did because I’m lazy…of course. But something recent that would be nice to talk about is trying to find myself once again; Who am I?

Yesterday I was talking to a friend about my life, like usual, and he told me “I think once you answer that question [the question was “Who are you?”] , you will be able to love someone. Because as of now you have nothing to give for you do not know who you are.” I think he’s right. I really don’t know who I am and that is why I have such troubles. I also don’t know what I want in life. I don’t really know what else to say to that. I don’t know how I’m going to answer the question of “Who are you?”

In the past weeks, I’ve discovered that my group of friends has changed in the matter of years. I thought that I would always have that group of high school friends but those people change too and you slowly grow apart. I know its hard to take but it’s true. I now have a new small group of friends and I’m sure I’ll be making more as I go into photography for the first year. My friends are the ones I end up talking to, calling up, hanging out with on a free day. How I go out of my way to get to them or get them to me. My friends are very important to me and I want to keep them close to me always. Friends change but I haven’t forgotten my old friends, my high school friends, they still have a place in my books.

These past weeks, I’ve also discovered how much I’ve grown up and how much I need to grow up. Yes, I’ve graduated high school, got into college, finished my first year successfully [4.04GPA both semesters], I have my head on straight and tight, I got a good group of friends, and I do a lot of things on my own and have responsibilities…kind of. But I need to do a lot of growing up; need to get a job, get my license, maybe finally start dating and find someone [haha…wow], finish school, save up money to move out and what not. Lots of growing up to do. So in the next three years, I need to finish school, get my license, and have a steady job. I think that is fair, right?

Well I got nothing better to say but I will try to write more often. Sad part is I doubt anyone but myself is reading this.

Thanks.

-Allison