Call It Off by Tegan and Sara

This song is pretty close to how I feel right about now.

I won't regret saying this
This thing that I'm saying
Is it better than keeping my mouth shut
That goes without saying

Call, break it off
Call, break my own heart
Maybe I would have been something you'd be good at
Maybe you would have been something I'd be good at
But now we'll never know

I won't be sad
But in case I go there
Everyday, to make myself feel bad
There's a chance that I'll start to wonder if this was the thing to do

I won't be out long
But I still think it better if
You take your time coming over here
I think that's for the best

Call, break it off
Call, break my own heart
Maybe I would have been something you'd be good at
Maybe you would have been something I'd be good at
But now we'll never know

I won't be sad
But in case I go there
Everyday, to make myself feel bad
There's a chance that I'll start to wonder if this was the thing to do
I'll start to wonder if this was the thing to do

Thanks.

-Allison

Post No. 37 : Envious

Good morning, it’s…. 9:03am. Gaah. I want to sleep more but my brain won’t let me, so I’ll just blog about something.

I want to blog about a friend of mine who I am definitely envious about; Mike. Yeah I know, I’ve talked about him enough in my blogs but he is someone I’m definitely envious of. He’s 24 going on 25 and he’s got it going on. He has a fiancée (getting married soon enough), a kid, a house, a job, and pretty successful I would like to think. Despite the situation, he is where he is because of connections but is staying there because he has got what it takes to be in his position of work. He thinks that too and I’m so proud of him. From when I first met him to this day, he’s definitely matured, grown up to be an amazing guy. Well when I first met him, he was already pretty amazing or I definitely wouldn’t have fallen head over heels for him. But he’s different; stronger, always been independent, just…good. I’m just envious where he is at his life and only being 24.

I’m 21 and I feel like I’m way behind. Sure, I’m still young and have plenty of time to grow up but I had a “Plan”. The plan you make when you’re younger and don’t know better, ya, I liked my plan and was hoping it would fall through but it definitely isn’t going as planned…Anyways, the plan was to date for 3 years, engaged for 2, and have kids by 25. Is that too soon? I guess I should just plan for the getting engaged for 2 years (if I ever find a guy and date for 3 years or more…)  Anyways, I’m just comparing my life to his and he’s got it going on and well…I’m just where I am. Don’t get me wrong, I’m in a great place right now; 21, living at home, have a job, just graduated college, nothing to really worry about yet. But I do want to grow up soon.

I’m also envious of my other friends that are doing things on their own and taking care of themselves. I wish I had the finance for stuff like that or even a job that would provide me more hours to do stuff like that. I’m looking for a second job or a new job at that so I can work full time this year and hopefully go back to school in the Fall of 2012.

That’s all I got…I need to go get ready because I’m going out to lunch with some friends so..

Thanks.

-Allison

Post No. 36 : Start of my summer.

Well finally, it’s May 2^nd and this will definitely be the start of my summer for a long, adventurous summer! But here are some small things that have happened since my last post.

So for most of April, it was all about getting those final projects done; essay, movie poster, industrial shot, creative lighting, website, business plan, and my portfolio. Of course, I got everything done on time (even if it meant cramming for 9 hours in the library to finish a business plan for a 11:59pm deadline). Now what about those MAJOR projects? Well, my essay for my Photo Ethics and Issues, my essay was good enough that I got to present it to my class (the topic was about girls self esteem getting crushed due to excessive photoshopping). My business plan somehow got a pretty good mark even though there was a lot of missing parts. My website - thisisallisonwong photography - did very well even though there were definitely much better websites . And finally, my portfolio could have been a lot better so this summer I plan to build on my portfolio.

Other things that have happened, during the Photography Awards Banquet, I was nominated for Best Portrait with - Paint It White - along with 6 other amazing portraits. I’m glad I lost to Tyson because I really liked his portrait - Killer Instincts (First Photo) - And I did get a little certificate because of my photo along side of getting it put up on the wall! YEAH! I’ll definitely get a photo of that. My goal for this program is to graduate (of course) and get a photo of mine up on the wall so this has been a win-win kind of year. Non-Charlie-Sheen style.

This is my final year of school for now until 2012 where they will hopefully offer third year that I will definitely be a part of. I also might try to get a job as a “prof” in the program. I highly doubt that I will get the job but I damn well want to try. I think teaching Mac OS will be pretty fun since I just have to teach about using the Macbook and stuff; not hard right?

What does this summer bring me? Well, one of my best friends, Drew, has left London to go back to Windsor for a couple days, then off to Toronto, then off to Vancouver, then off to England! I might not see him for half a year but I damn will harass his Facebook, text him, and hopefully see his face on Skype sometime. I plan to shoot a lot more and just build my portfolio and make it stronger. I’m working with my godfather who is teaching me more and help me improve my skills my giving me small assignments to work on and giving me critique of what it is like to have your work shown in “the real world”. I will hopefully either get a better job or a second job this summer also. I hope to get more photography gigs. I hope to see my friends as often as possible to go hang out and just have a blast of a summer. I hope to find myself again and figure stuff out because with a year off, I’m not sure what I’m going to do with myself.

That’s all I got for now. Time to watch more development on the Federal election. I will hopefully write more soon.

Thanks.

-Allison